Has your sex life gone from super sweet to horribly boring? Have you lost that loving feeling or simply forgotten how to get it done right? If so, don’t worry, we all go through ruts and slow periods in our relationships. You can totally turn it around, you just gotta put the effort and right attitude in. Read closely if you’re thinking it’s time to spice things up and or you want to turn your sinking sex ship around.
First and foremost, you need to have more sex. This seems obvious, I’m sure, but I know personally that the sex slows down when the relationship slows down. So, get naked and hop to. Surprise your partner out of no where. Jump their bones while they’re making dinner, attack (in a good way!) while they are folding laundry–get ’em when they least expect it. That’s easiest and simplest way to get things going again.
The same tactic applies if your problem stems from dying libidos. Sex is like chocolate (delicious and addicting), in that the more you have it, the more you want it. So if you’re currently not having any, you don’t really need it. If this is the case, it’s time to reset your mind. Maybe you or your partner’s libido is waning? If so, you just have to have sex anyway. Retrain your brain to want it again. Become addicted…again!
But if you’re already having plenty of sex and things are still a little ho hum, then it’s time to change things up. Break out of your usual bedroom routine by leaving your bed. Start small by moving to the kitchen, the living room or even your porch. Then branch out further like your car, a movie theatre or even a closet at a party. However, it’s important to be stealth at these times, unless getting caught it totally your thing.
Next, change up your style. Do you always wear the same schlubby thing to bed? Come to bed in a new piece of lingerie or really switch it up by coming to bed as someone else. Put on a wig and an outfit that you wouldn’t usually wear. Pick out an accent and do your best strut. By doing this, sex will seem completely different, simply because you changed one element. You can even get the sensation of sleeping with someone new if you can get your partner to play along. Be sure to let them know it’s about having fun and trying new things and that you still want to be with them at the end of the day.
Sex toys are also a great way to break out of a sexual rut. If you’re new to the world of plastic phallic fun, you should do a little research online prior to buying anything. Adam and Eve (NSFW) is a great place to start. If you’re not new, maybe it’s time to go bigger and more intense? Try a sex swing or an elaborate bondage kit. Bringing new toys in can help recharge your bedroom antics.
If you feel like you need a little inspiration, try watching an adult film together. You can react the scenes or even turn the camera on the two of you and see what happens. I only recommend doing this with someone you trust, you don’t want to have a Kim K moment.
And finally, a really great way to respark your sexual energy is to refocus your sexual time and energy on your partner. Stop rushing through foreplay and give them the oral respect they deserve. Seduce them, tease them and make them want it. I’m sure they will pay you the same attention when you’re done. We’re so quick to skip the beginning to get to the finale, when we should really be spending time on foreplay. Remember what it was like when you first hooked up and try to recreate those bedroom memories. Appreciate every moment and breath.
Try these tricks and see what happens! Good luck!
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